HumpDay Quickie #95

Posted: February 24, 2016 in Hump-Day Quickies
Tags: , , , ,

The Case Of The Violin (or The Violin Case)
by Stephen Lodge.


“Come, come, old man, my dear friend” I said warmly “you are confusing “The Case Of The One Legged Cyclist” with “The Adventure Of Firk Hall.”

I sat puffing at my pipe while my friend, the great detective, laid down his magnifying glass, his newspaper and his violin, his coffee, took off what was left of his smoking jacket, popped on his greatcoat and that hideous hat, smiling in that way that so irritated me and yet, so irritated me.

“Quickly, old friend, the game is afoot. Let us traverse the fogbound streets of this London, or we’ll miss the kick-off.”

“But..but..surely there’s no chance of the match between Clapton Orient and Accrington Stanley being played today” I blustered.

“Nonsense.” The great detective snorted. “The game is definitely on. A bloke said. Down the pub.”

“What’s that you say, old chap?” I watched him eagerly. “A bloke said? Down the pub? Then it must be true. But first, let me drop these 500 bags off to the boy in the square. Without this birdfeed, I fear the poor boy will himself be eaten by the pigeons.”
“I’ll say it again, old thing, you are too good to those birds. I only give the boy feed for them when I need one to send a message for me. One day, perhaps in the next century there will be better and more hygienic ways to send messages than to tie a bit of paper to a pigeons’ leg. Now come, you old buffoon, or we’ll be late for the football.”

The story may well have ended there, were it not for the fact that it went on a bit longer.

It seems the bloke down the pub was wrong. The match had been postponed long before Stanley and his teammates had left Accrington. That was the final straw for me and when we got back to the warmth and comfort of our rooms, I told the astute detective in no uncertain terms that I had had enough.

“I’ve had enough.” I said.

“Those sound like no uncertain terms.” replied the great detective.

  1. Jake Waller says:

    This is bizarre.
    I like it.

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