HumpDay Quickie #28

Posted: July 23, 2014 in Hump-Day Quickies
Tags: , , ,

In The Aftermath

by Karl A. Russell

“Excelsior Insurance, you’re through to Marty. Is it Mr Silverstein?”

“That’s right.”

“And you’re claiming for metahuman damages?”

“Yeah, The Behemoth – ”

“Next Gen or Classic?”

“Sorry?”

“Red or green?”

“Oh. The green guy.”

“Classic. That’s good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah; The kid’s been possessed by Bacchus and we can’t touch him; You can’t insure against acts of Gods, even really drunk ones. So what was the damage?”

“He dropped my house on the Mole King.”

“Wow…”

“Picked it up, ‘Behemoth smaaash!’, then planted it on his head.”

“Did it do much damage?”

“To the Mole King?”

“To the house…”

“Oh. Yeah, totalled. Went from three storeys to a pile of rubble in a flash.”

“He was there too? Just kidding… It’s pretty simple. We handle around sixty of these a month, and the big guys always pay out in full and on time.”

“That’s so great. I’ve been living in my car. D’you think I should check into a motel?”

“You could check into a hotel, Mr Silverstein. I just have to ask one last question, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, let me read it out; Have you now, or have you ever been, a member of a supervillain organisation, science criminal fraternity or metahuman dynasty?”

“Um…”

“Sir?”

“Well, I don’t think it counts, but my old man was kind of a bad guy, back in the day.”

“How bad?”

“You remember that one guy who wanted to magnetise everyone’s retainers?”

“I thought his name was Shapiro?”

“Mom remarried while he was inside. He was never a big part of my life, so I didn’t declare it. Does it matter?”

“It could. You wouldn’t expect burglary insurance to pay out if you left your doors open all night would you?”

“You’re saying I invited this?”

“No, but your pop’s prior relationship with the metahuman community could count against you.”

“But he’s dead!”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Oesophageal cancer in ’07.”

“Well, that could be okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Soon as we dig him up, check he’s not a clone or a cyborg or whatever, you’re golden. We’ll have you in that motel in no time.”

“I thought you said hotel?”

“Don’t push it, Mr Shapiro.”

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