HumpDay Quickie #20

Posted: May 21, 2014 in Hump-Day Quickies
Tags: , , ,

Farmer’s Market

by Casey Rose Frank

“This exquisite blue cheese is only made in small batches. If Cary Grant were a cheese…”
“The bees have such great lives, and it really shows in the quality of their honey. It’s like we’re bottling up the happiness…”
The chatter of the vendors around me was eye roll inducing. Their descriptions of their edible wares sounding like dating profiles the way they gushed about everything.

A woman stopped by booth and glanced down.
“Is your salmon farm raised?”
I consulted my notes.
“Yes.”
She looked at me, waiting for me to give some elaborate spiel. When I didn’t she frowned and walked away.

I wasn’t here to actually sell fish. There was a rumor that one of the stalls was selling some additional homegrown goods of a less legal nature. I was assigned here to scope out the situation as insider. I would be unobtrusive. Under the radar.

Suddenly a little whirlwind stopped at the front of the booth. She stood on tiptoe and pushed crazy brown curls out of her face.
“What are those?” she asked as she pointed her tiny finger, hand still smushed against her cheek.
“Those are crabs.”
“Crabs?”
Her eyes got wide and she fell back onto her heels.
“Are they dead?”
“Yes,” I answered with a scowl. I really wanted her to just go away.
She sucked in a deep breath and began yelling.
“You killed Sebastian! You killed Sebastian and all his friends! Ariel hates you! She hates you!”

Fancy Cheese Guy and Happy Bee Lady were staring at me.
I put my hands up, trying to demonstrate I wasn’t doing anything to this child.
“Sebastian!” she wailed.
A man ran up and scooped up the girl.
“Are you okay, what’s wrong?” he asked her before turning to me, “What happened?”
“I don’t know, she just…”
“He’s a sea witch!” she yelled pointing at me.
I kept my hands up and shrugged in confused surrender.
He apologized and carried the girl away as she sang in a sobbing voice, “Under the sea, under the sea, darling it’s better…”

People kept giving me the stink eye.

So much for being unobtrusive.

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