HumpDay Quickie #19

Posted: May 14, 2014 in Hump-Day Quickies
Tags: , , , ,

Communing With Nature

by Casey Rose Frank

Harold felt that he had found the perfect tree in which to climb. He could wedge himself into one of the crooks of these strong tree arms and commune with the woods, as required by all wizards from time to time.

He began to climb.

“Ah, hullo? This tree is taken, sir,” called a voice from above.

Harold looked up. He could see wiry grey eyebrows and a long nose pointing down at him from beneath a bouffant purple hat.

“Oh. I see,” Harold answered.

He stood still for a moment. He really did think that this was the very finest tree in the whole forest. And he was a first rate wizard worthy of this clearly superior tree.

“Here’s the thing, ya? This tree is really prime, so maybe you wouldn’t mind sharing,” he said, making it a statement rather than a question as he climbed up the trunk to the first limb.

“I do mind! I do,” called the other man. Or wizard.

“Yes, well…” Harold began, climbing still with no intent of stopping.

“I was here first you ass! Here, have a cat,” he yelled and with a snick-pop kiss of sound a cat suddenly appeared and dropped onto Harold’s head.

Definitely another wizard.

Harold almost fell but peeled the terrified cat off of his head and placed it on a limb.

“Here’s a panther for you,” Harold called up, pointing into the tree and snick-pop there was a velvety jungle cat sitting next to the other wizard.

“Here’s a lion,” he called back.

Back and forth the two accelerated, yelling over each other as they attempted to overwhelm the other into giving up the tree.

“Here’s a rhino!”

“Here’s a hippo!”

“Here’s twin moose!”

“Here’s a god damn grand piano!” yelled Harold.

As it slammed onto the tree, atop the animals and two wizards there was a hideous cracking sound and the entire tree began to snap and splinter.

Both men landed on the ground and the animals scattered, panicked and confused into the woods.

“Well.”

“Yeah.”

“Best find another tree, yeah?”

The men shook hands and walked away in opposite directions.

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Comments
  1. […] My personal favourite: Communing With Nature […]

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