HumpDay Quickie #13

Posted: April 2, 2014 in Hump-Day Quickies
Tags: , , ,

Cause and Effect

by Image Ronin

The trouble with time travel is that to many folk are fixated on the big issues. The classics, you got your killing Hitler paradox, what snuffed the dinosaurs, that whole could I live Groundhog Day style shit.

Important stuff, the kinda stuff that makes history. What we in the business refer to simply as:

Unimportant.

Now I know, you’re already thinking. What the hell is this jackass talking about? How’s killing Hitler unimportant?

Okay you got me there; I mean all that shit is dealt with by the Department for Time and Narrative Manipulation. Guy called Pete, good hair, total professional. In other words he never investigates anything, sets his email reply permanently to ‘out-of-office’, works on his golf handicap.

One of a kind Pete, real legend.

Anyway us guys in the Department of Minute Temporal Anomalies we get to shovel our way through the real 24/7 saving temporal reality shit. Proper crossing T’s and dotting I’s shit.

Take today, I’m in this dank little noodle bar attempting to swap their cracked lucky cat standing on the counter for an identical one in my bag.

Why?

Well today the owner will decide that cracked cat is no longer conducive to an eatery lacking ambition. He in turn will send a minion out to buy a new grease free lucky cat.

Minion will cross the road, sadly en-route he’ll hug a bus. The number 57. Anyway minion dies, sad yet inconsequential in the scope of things, but what is important is that on this particular bus is a kid.

This is some real butterfly flapping wings shit trust me.

Now kid grows up and releases a song about the day he sees some guy die. Total throat lumper. Now some scientist chap gets all obsessive about the track. For some reason the song drives him to design a virus in his lab.

Releases it.

Kills everyone.

Some people are just natural dickheads.

So four things, Cat, Bus, Song, Virus.

We simply identify the easiest domino, rewrite history.

Anyway, time to skim a cat, if you get my drift.

Then some noodles I reckon, saving reality makes a man mighty hungry.

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