HumpDay Quickie #2

Posted: January 15, 2014 in Hump-Day Quickies
Tags: , , ,

Bernie Blows A Fuse

By: Karl A. Russell 

Moving house is hard, but the bloke upstairs did himself no favours. You try to blend in when it’s shared flats, but this dick had his movers blocking hallways, dragging boxes upstairs and scraping around right above my head. Course, he didn’t know I work nights, but he never even asked.

I tried being nice, let him settle in, but he works from home, so it was 24/7. Every morning as I’m getting my head down, he kicked off this unbelievable racket, a wheeze and a hum, non-stop, with awful TV blaring out over the top. God knows what it was. Bev spoke to him, said his mum was sick or something and that I should be more understanding. I hadn’t slept right for weeks, so my reply was less diplomatic. Exit Bev…

The noises went on, with extra clanging when he got big deliveries every Friday. I was done in. Bev’s new fella came to collect her stuff in his 4×4 dickmobile and I was watching him leave when I saw the bloke heading out. I thought of leaning out and gobbing on his head, but then I realised he’d left his flaming machines running! He didn’t even have the common decency to give me a minute’s peace while he went out. Well, screw him.

I wanted to kick his door in and pull the plugs, but then I had a better idea and found the main circuit breakers under the stairs, three big white switches marked Ground, First and Top. I flipped his switch and it went perfectly quiet.

I laid on my bed to enjoy the silence. He’d never suspect anything, and hopefully his work would be ruined. That would teach him…

Then I slept till the police came. I heard him then, ranting and raving, but I’d been so deep I hadn’t stirred. Clean conscience you see, no matter what anyone says. I don’t deny doing it, but manslaughter? Come on, I didn’t even know his mother lived there, let alone that she was on a respirator. It’s not like he told anyone, is it?

I suppose some people just can’t think about anyone but themselves.


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